The seventh step of humility is that a man not only admits with his tongue but is also convinced in his heart that he is inferior to all and of less value.

The Rule of St. Benedict, 7:51

Now we are really getting into the hard stuff. A lot of modern Christianity has been infused with what has been termed “therapeutic moral deism”, a pseudo-self help, personal betterment scheme, akin to any other modern self-improvement plan. And a key part of this is a dismissal of any idea of self-critique, or really, anything less than absolute self-affirmation.

And I do get that, and agree that much of the church’s historical record on self-talk is pretty bad, and has been used to oppress. At the same time, there is also a strong Scriptural tradition of reminding ourselves that we are sinful, we are limited and mortal, and we do have a tendency to make mistakes and cause harm to others and the world around us. Reminding ourselves of this fact, as a way of providing a check on our tendency to seek power and dominate the world around us, becomes a good and important habit. We shouldn’t declare ourselves inferior as a way of tearing ourselves down, but as a way of reminding ourselves of our limits to do good and our ability to do harm.

The sixth step of humility is that a monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards himself as a poor and worthless workman in whatever task he is given, saying to himself with the Prophet: I am insignificant and ignorant, no better than a beast before you, yet I am with you always (Ps 72 [73]: 22-23).

The Rule of St. Benedict, 7:49-50

The sixth step is a supremely difficult one in a world premised on success, achievement, and upward mobility. We all want to move up the organizational chart, to be noticed and rewarded for our efforts, and to break free of menial work. But, Christian humility demands otherwise. In order to humble ourselves, we must serve, and not just in ways that look good on social media and ask minimally of us. True Christian service is not glamorous or glorified, but happens in small moments, free of notice, and often in the form of tasks and service that is undesirable. We put ourselves on the road to Christian perfection when we serve with no expectation of reward or glory.

The fifth step of humility is that a man does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his heart, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly.

The Rule of St. Benedict, 7:44

One of the things that Protestant Christians have by and large eschewed as a practice is the confession of sins. This avoidance is not just personal, either, as many churches (especially more progressive churches) have moved away from corporate confession as an element of liturgy. Often, this is framed as a pushback against toxic forms of religious control that have weaponized the knowledge of our sins by some who want to use that knowledge for unsavory reasons. This is certainly a reasonable reaction. But, I think churches should work to re-incorporate some form of confession back into their practices of faith and character formation. Recognizing and verbalizing the ways we all fall short is a good thing to do (just ask anyone who have been through the 12 Steps or any other recovery program!)

I have a group of very close guy friends, and we meet once weekly on Zoom to check in for accountability and conversation. A key element of our weekly chat is the confession of sins and temptations we deal with in the week, and the subsequent forgiveness and accountability we can offer one another. I, too, brought into this practice initially some skepticism, but have found this weekly unburdening one of the best and most powerful rhythms in my life. Practicing life together as Christians, in any context, is made all the richer – and more just! – through the practice of confession to trusted ears, and the care and compassion that comes with that.